When I moved from the Netherlands to France 2,5 years ago I was sitting here in the first month thinking what I was doing here. There was a rush feeling in me and I knew I had to be here. But it took me some time to Ground and understand the rush feeling I was experiencing wasn’t healthy. In this blog I share about my process of moving here, grounding in the Self and becoming a mother.
Grounding in the Self: nature was calling me home
Since I was young I knew I wouldn’t be living in the Netherlands. It never felt I could ground there. And I always said, I am home in myself. It is not related to places. I lived in Germany, short time in Greece, Bulgaria and now in France. Nature was calling me home each time I went there. Places where nature is rough and inviting us to be part of it. The Netherlands always felt ‘made’ to me.
Becoming a yoga teacher
In 2018 a car accident changed my view on life. I wanted to become a yoga teacher and help as much people as I could from chronic pain and emotional trauma. Healing from a whiplash and ptsd reminded me of the fact that we have a lot of capacity to do so.
When I was starting as a yoga teacher I felt a big responsibility to guide people back to themselves. Helping people to breathe better, releasing pain and stagnation, depression, burn-outs and more. There have been a time I was teaching 7 days a week, 3 classes a day. The pandemic changed a lot and with the online movement going on, I saw new changes to create an online platform with courses to reach people at home.
My studio was still a place for me to ground myself. Inviting people to come and release the stress of the day. But while looking outside I felt there was a place in nature waiting for me.
In the meantime I went 2 times back to Bulgaria to see the community in Bansko which felt like home to me.
Grounding deeper in the Self
During the Pandemic, my desire to become a mother was taking me down in a lot of self-doubts. It wasn’t going naturally. And while doing all kind of healing modalities. From breathwork, to yoga to the rite of the womb, it didn’t seem to happen.
I decided to do a plant medicine ritual with chocobliss. A combination of cacao, truffle and caapi. My intention was to ask the plants why it didn’t happen. The answer: you have to ground deeper. An invitation to the deepest root of myself.
The summer of 2021 was about making fun, going on holidays to Bulgaria and France. And while spending 3 months in France, we decided to move. We didn’t want to stay in the same situation. Small house, always in a rush and a place where we both felt it wasn’t our place anymore.
Decision time
We made the decision and started looking for houses in France when we got back to the Netherlands. I was still running my studio in Alkmaar, did a lot of cold therapy, yoga, went to a moon lodge and did rituals for myself. While not expecting it anymore, I got pregnant. For a moment this was bringing some doubts of moving to France. But we decided to go for it. Not with the 2 of us. But the 3 of us. In March 2022 we found a house, end of April 2022 we moved to France.
Moving and my journey towards motherhood
Moving to France opened new doors for us. A time in which we could both work on a more healthy relationship with ourselves and each other.
I think I could not wish for a better place to be pregnant. In nature. Time to ground in myself and grow slowly into motherhood.
Giving birth in a country where I didn’t know how it all worked took a lot of my attention. But even in the first summer while being pregnant, I was giving my first Private Back to Nature Retreat. A beautiful start of something new.
But some days I was also desiring being back in the Netherlands. Moving to another place is never going without grief. Letting go of old relationships, patterns and places. And besides that, I had to give birth in a Hospital here, because home births are not usual here in France. I always had the thought I would do a home birth, but in my experience, I was super happy how it went. It was a though birth. And if it wasn’t coming within 20 minutes, I had to go for a C-section. In another blog, I will share more about this. But I still had the feeling, people listened to me when I started to talk about several positions and options to do the birth naturally. I also felt protected after birth by giving me a bed for 5 days with no visits allowed. I really had the time to meet her in silence and time for myself.
Spending time with my little one
Ines was born in October 2022 in Cahors. The year after she was born, I decided to spend a lot of time with her because my partner was working abroad a lot. This left a mark on me as well, since I was a lot of time alone here in France without support. Sometimes I still feel the loneliness and frustrations of this period in my body. On the other side, I was happy about it, because I could do all things on my own terms. But I expected it to be different.
Making the decision to enjoy all moments with her was most important to me, because other people around me decided differently. I couldn’t understand this always.
Growing in motherhood
Getting to know myself as a new mom was an intense journey. Taking care of a little child. Breastfeeding. Being in another country where I didn’t speak the language. It was intense. For me, it was important that I could spend enough time with her. While in the beginning I thought, I would be teaching soon again, I couldn’t do it after 3 months. I needed more time. I think at least 6 months of rest and taking time to get to know myself as a new woman. A mother. Grounding in the Self got a deeper meaning in this process. While most of my attention was going to my baby, I still took the time to do grounding practices. Breathwork, soft yoga movements and the moments I got for myself, reflecting in what I need. Taking showers when she was sleeping was sometimes just what I needed.
Back to work and Grounding in the Self
Since I work remotely besides my retreats, I can plan my own time and days. This is really helpful as mom of a little toddler. If you’re a mom struggling to find work that suits your schedule, feel free to e-mail me at info@joycemol.com for support. With a background in Recruitment and 7+ years experience in remote working and running online platforms, I am happy to support women who are looking for work online. Which can support them to stay grounded and connected to themselves and their child.
Maybe my blog about managing motherhood, business and time for yourself is an interesting read for you.
